1. When you meet Edward Cullen’s identical twin at a bar and he proceeds to carry you away while screaming, “I’LL MAKE HER INTO MY ZOMBIE GIRLFRIEND IF I WANT,” don’t panic. Simply have your friends rip you away, sprint out the door, and hop in the nearest cab.
2. If you enjoy living, don’t wear heels out. Ever.
3. When gagging on the potent licorice flavor of absinthe at the absinthe bar, make sure to have corn nuts nearby for chaser.
4. Despite popular belief, lighting sugar on fire over yellow alcohol will not make you see fairies. ‘Tis a myth. (Anyway, isn’t melting sugar how you make caramel and most other candies?? Unwrapped taught me that.)
5. Don’t be too loud when making a toast to “Eduardo” aka Edward Cullen, who you may or may not have met night before. Actually don’t make any noise at all in the bar or else the bartender will cut you off after one drink because you must be too drunk.
6. When the metro doors close on your body, hold hands with your friends and scream as loud as you can. Eventually 2 young Spanish men will come to your rescue, use their strength to push the doors open, and then hold them open while you climb out.
Now you’re ready to embark on your very own European adventures!
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pahahaha i'm just imagining you screaming "EDUARDO."
ReplyDeletei am so glad i'm not the only one that thinks absinthe tastes like licorice
ReplyDeletei wish you could see me crying in my room right now thinking about you this way. i am DYING
ReplyDeletehahaha angela. i am in love with your blog. just thought you should know... and i can picture EXACTLY how you would be while stuck in the metro doors. i miss youu! - ashleyma
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